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 7/4/2007 12:23 PM
 
I to am a widow of 1yr. with a motorhome that my dh and I bought the year before his sudden death. Like some of the others I have read I am in a dilema over should I keep the big class a or should I go down to something smaller. I have learned to drive the mh but it scares me half to death. We did alot of traveling in the past and were planning on snowbirding it upon my retirement. Unfortunitly the travel part never came about. I still want to snowbird as I'm tired of the cold/snow. Love my unit but with a "toad" on the back it is quite scary. Still owe on the unit but will check to see what is would be worth on trade. Another factor is I don't know if I would be traveling alone. My son may??? go with me. It depends on how he makes out with the VA. I could be quite comfortable in a smaller unit and it would not have to be a diesel. There seems to be alot of us widows out there, too bad we can't get together. Joined RVin Women but other than getting the magazine have not heard from them. The directory list some women in my area. I guess it is up to me to make the first step. It is hard to take on everything when your dh did so much of it. It is hard to be single again after 45yrs of being part of a pair. My kids say I have to be more venture some. Joyce and Ms Daisy

Joyce and Ms Daisy
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 7/4/2007 1:05 PM
 
Welcome, Joyce. I am so sorry to hear of the sudden loss of your DH. As you said, there are quite a few ladies on this wonderful forum who share in widowhood or are single yet pursue their love of RVing. Fortunately, I am not one of them. I am sorry but I can't offer much in the way of advice about your decision of whether or not to downsize, my DH and I are new to this.
I am not a member of RVin Women but I have read their forum, and I can honestly say I don't think they can hold a candle to our forum. The support, information and friendship offered here is incredible. There are several girls on this forum from the NY area. Maybe you can make a connection. Read often, post often. You will get the support you need. Good luck! Danise

Danise
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 7/4/2007 7:18 PM
 
Joyce - We are on opposite sides of the country, but we have a lot in common. I lost my husband in March, just shy of our 50th. I, too, had a large motorhome and the gals on this site advised me to do whatever I needed to do and not worry about unpaid balances or how much we had invested in the rig. They said to do what is best for YOU. Not best for your son. Not best for what others may think. Their reassurance was probably the best advice I ever got. If you are comfortable - really comfortable - driving your rig, then that is what you may want to do. If you are not comfortable, or feel it is too large for your needs, then as one of the gals told me - find a dealer who will work with you and get something that fits. We have many options in this new life we have to lead. After years of sharing and being the "helper" it is very hard to be the "everything". These gals are proof that it can be done and they are all so different with different ideas and opinions. I, too, wish we could get a few of us together. Unfortunately, 3,000 miles separate you and me, but I bet you will hear from some of the east coast bunch. Good luck. Evie and fur people, Spike & Pia

Evie driving Flitter, 26' Itasca Spirit with furry co-pilot, Elsa
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 7/6/2007 2:04 PM
 
Welcome Joyce Sorry for the loss of your DH. Feel such sympathy and admiration for older widows out there and what they "come" through. Have seen them adjust slowly and beautifully. Just give yourself grieving time, adjusting time, and be gentle with yourself. Know there are a lot of sisters out there who are pulling for you. Pooker and Joyce - you are only 1500 mi away from meeting up! :) Maybe you could meet in the middle of the country!!! Marysdream Its all good!!!!!
2000 Rialta (little Sweetie)

Marysdream Its all good!!!!! 2000 Rialta (little Sweetie)
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 7/6/2007 8:24 PM
 
Hi ya Joyce! Well, I'm here in NY,... over near Lake Champlain. I'm not a widow, i'm divorced,.. but let me tell all you widows,.. we grieve just as much as you do. It's been nearly two years for me since he left and I still shed my tears at times. So remember,..we are all sisters here.
I think you should check out some other types of campers if you aren't comfortable with the big Class A. Do not buy something for someone else, buy what fits you,.. you will know it when you see it. If your son wishes to go with you he still can, but get what YOU want.
Your story reminds me to remind all women to learn all about your rig, how to hitch, drive, back it up, hook up systems, dump tanks,... navigate, ... because we are all just a moment away from needing to be (as someone here has already said,...) "everything". Handling your rig isn't as tough if you already know how to do it and are not learning in the middle of your grief.
Welcome aboard and come on over to the east coast of NY and we'll GTG!
Cedar Adirondack Mts. in NY '02 Ford Escape '04 Chalet Arrowhead (C-->)
"One's world expands and contracts in direct proportion to one's courage"....Anais Nin.
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 7/6/2007 9:56 PM
 
Hi Joyce, I'm widowed 14 months, so I know how being the "everything" is a little uncomfortable sometimes. I get to laughing at myself sometimes because I can picture my husband having a good laugh at some of the things I get myself into. I bought a 29' class C mh because I feel that is small enough for me to drive and big enough if I want my grandkids to come along . I am lucky to have my sister able to travel with me, and come late Aug. we will be taking a trip to NYC from Florida. We will be leaving the MH at Newburgh NY and will take the train into the city. We have friends that we want to visit. Where do you snowbird? If we could meet somewhere , we would love to meet you, on our trip to NY. The women on this forum are as strong as you'll ever meet and caring, so stay tuned in and any thought you might have , you'll end up reading it right here!! You'll be in our prayers Happiness is a Choice...........choose to be happy
bettyfromvero

Happiness is a Choice...........choose to be happy bettyfromvero
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 7/7/2007 8:51 PM
 
Hi Joyce, I was widowed 23 years ago, but then divorced 5 years ago. My best advice is do not make any decisions quickly. If you have driven your rig before, take it on some short trips, and take your time making a decision about what you want to do. You can always trade, but you can't undo a decision once you make it. So just go slow, slow, test the waters and make very sure of what direction you want to go.
This is a decision you need to make, not out of emotions but good level headed thinking it through. If you decide to go looking, ask your son to be there with you, can make a big difference.
Good luck to you and if you decide to head to Florida there are several of us here that would enjoy meeting up with you.

Nan 2003 Forest River Lexington 23 feet

Nan
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 7/8/2007 3:59 PM
 
Welcome, Joyce, Like Cedar - I'm single due to divorce - but also like her, can tell you the pain is just as real - as was the getting used to doing everything my dh did.
I agree 100% with everything the others have said. At the end of the day, it's only you that have to be happy with your motorhome. Take your time, and decide what is the right type/floorplan/size, etc for YOU. And if your son can help you with dealers, etc, fine - but don't let him decide that part.
Just on this forum - we all have different likes/dislike - sizes, etc. You have to like what you get. And you have to be comfortable in it, whatever size it is, to live in.
Now, as to meeting - some of us on this board have met. And we do like meeting each other. So - make sure you let us know where you are - or where you head - you'll have friends to meet up with.
Joyce, I tried to send you a pm - but you have it disabled. Let me know if/when you enable it.
Smiling is contagious - try it!
Bethers This message was edited by Bethers on 7-8-07 @ 3:00 PM

--------------------------- Once your reputation is ruined, you can live life quite freely :) (old German saying) Bethers
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 7/8/2007 10:40 PM
 
Hey Cedar, Hope you don't think we widows are putting you divorcees down! Of course we all face some things the same and some things different. Widows are mourning what they lost and divorcees are mourning what could have been. Same heartbreak, many of the same problems. It's nice to have us all here for each other, no matter what the situation. You girls are all inspirations! Evie and fur people, Spike & Pia

Evie driving Flitter, 26' Itasca Spirit with furry co-pilot, Elsa
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 7/9/2007 7:20 AM
 
Pooker,....nope,..didn't think for one minute widow ladies were putting divorced women down. But I am not grieving "what might have been"....but just like any widow,.. what I lost. Perhaps it depends which one initiated the divorce. No matter -- like we have all said, we have each other, and that is one fine fact to hold on to! :)
Thanks to all for your gift of friendship! Cedar Adirondack Mts. in NY '02 Ford Escape '04 Chalet Arrowhead (C-->)
"One's world expands and contracts in direct proportion to one's courage"....Anais Nin.
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