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 6/16/2007 1:44 AM
 
Hi Ladies, I have no one else I can discuss this with so I'm turning to your community for collective advise from unbiased "eyes."
I'll try and make this short. Husband retired six years ago. We Rved off and on for four years. One and a half of those years was fulltime.
We settled down two years ago into a beautiful home, in a beautiful subdivison, in the city where our son and his family live.
Problem: I miss RVing. Want to sell home and everything in it and fulltime for years to come.
Friends: They think I'm nuts. How can I not be happy having a nice home near family.
Husband: He's not sure but says if that's what I want for me to just say the word and that's what we'll do. He says this however, not understanding either why I'm not happy to have a nice home near family.
Other Problem: What if I force the issue and he's not happy, then what? The house will be gone and all our stuff with it. You see we cannot afford to own a home and RV also.
So ladies I've laid it all out. Can you throw me a few nuggets of wisdom. I need your help.
Thanks,
Sincerely,
GerryMac
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 6/16/2007 12:30 PM
 
I was curiously wondering why you guys gave up fulltiming the first time? Reading between the lines I would guess part of it had to do with being close to your son. This may seem really out there, but is there a possibility of putting your home on the rental market and buying a less expensive RV - then if things don't work out with happiness for all - you could sell the RV and move back home :quest:. My reason for suggesting that was my sister-in-law wanted to move to California, but was unsure and had a lot of "what if" issues. She owned a really lovely home here in St. Louis. So she decided to rent it out while renting a home in San Diego, giving herself one year to make the final decision. That was 15 years ago and she remained in San Diego and ended up selling her home here in St. Louis. You could still be a part of your son's life by finding an RV spot somewhere close to his home, putting down stakes for a week or so every now and then and visit like crazy. My in-laws used to come for a month and stay in a RV park about 15 miles from our house every few months or so when they were fulltiming. Our son was little then and just loved going to visit them in the RV park and if he got to sleep over he thought that was the greatest thing staying in the motorhome. There's got to be a way to enjoy the best of both worlds for you and your husband. Good Luck with your decision!! Jerry St. Louis, Missouri '07 Ford F150 '05 Max-Lite 29BHS

Jerry St. Louis, Missouri How far you go in life depends on your being Tender with the young, Compassionate with the old, Sympathetic with the striving and Tolerant of the weak and strong...Because someday in your life you will have been all of these.
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 6/16/2007 7:14 PM
 
A couple of questions,... what happened to the rv you had four years ago? Sold? Why did you give up the rv life? Can be close to son at least half the year or more in an rv. Those that have never been bitten by the "bug" and become addicted to the camping lifestyle just don't understand,... probably never will. You either love it, tolerate it occasionally or hate it. For me,.. I love it. If I had the financial ability I'd have a camper I could at least half-time in for winter months in the south. But although I retired, I had to go back to work. I worked too many years for non-profit organizations,.. that came back to haunt me in retirement time.
If it's what you want,.. if it gives you and your husband peace,...and,...........you can afford it,..well then DO it! Life's too short to live it wishing for what you want to do when you CAN do it!
Good Luck! Cedar Adirondack Mts. in NY '02 Ford Escape '04 Chalet Arrowhead (C-->)
"One's world expands and contracts in direct proportion to one's courage"....Anais Nin.
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 6/17/2007 11:33 PM
 
Hi Jerry,
Thanks for taking the time to answer my plea.
We gave up fulltime rving for several reasons. We had ill relatives we were caring for was one. The other compelling reason was that my husband felt if we did not put our money into a home that at a future date we could be priced out of the market. We liked the area that our son lived in and it was nice being around him and his family.
The relatives have since passed.
We are now fully into what our friends call the normal life and I find it boring. My husband works parttime and I have two business ventures that I manage. I enjoy time with our son, daughter in law and grandson but it is not enough for me.
I miss the freedom and the anticipation of discovering what's around the next bend in the road.
It's hard for my husband to give up our stuff. His comment to me was what would we have to show for all our hard work without our possessions.
He is against renting the house also.
I will give it some more time to see if he comes around. If not I know the day of reckoning is coming.
I appreciate your views.
Thank you again for your imput. It helps to be able to talk to others who understand.
Sincerely,
GerryMac
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 6/18/2007 12:00 AM
 
Hi Cedar,
I like your attitude.
Yes, we sold our RV. We were taking care of ill relatives for quit awhile. They have since passed.
Addicted is a good word to use for what I have. Friends and relatives thought I would be the last one in the world who would want to be a nomad. It highlights how little the people closest to us know us at times.
Our son it not the reason we stay grounded. He has a full life and I know we would see him often.
My husband receives a decent pension and we could work camp if necessary. He is hesitant to give up so much "stuff." ( Stuff we kept in storage all the years we traveled-what a waste.)
He misses seeing the sights also but has become very comfortably in a nice home without wheels, surrounded by his stuff. Since we can't afford to have both he feels the better investment for our future is a home.
It wouldn't be a walk in the park for me either but I'm willing to give it all up for the freedom.
When we have a home someone is always visiting and I feel I have to accomadate their needs. I've been there done that for over 30 years. I'm less willing to accomadate anyone anymore. I want to play and do what I want to do when I want to do it. Selfish-sure. So be it.
Why anyone would want to stay in one place when the world awaits is beyond me.
I'll shut up now. I'm sure I've bored you to tears with my complaining but thanks for hearing and thanks for listening.
I have faith it will work out but it was nice to hear from someone who understands the wanderlust.
Sincerely, GerryMac
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 6/18/2007 2:44 AM
 
Gerrymac - I see your husband's point and that represents a good provider as my grandmother would say... ;) I fully understand where you're coming from as well and I think it would be the greatest thing if you both could enjoy RVing again. So...I'm keeping my fingers "X" (crossed) that things work out and your husband can have some security for his peace of mind while you're RVing around the US for your peace of mind!! Keep us posted! Jerry St. Louis, Missouri '07 Ford F150 '05 Max-Lite 29BHS

Jerry St. Louis, Missouri How far you go in life depends on your being Tender with the young, Compassionate with the old, Sympathetic with the striving and Tolerant of the weak and strong...Because someday in your life you will have been all of these.
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 6/18/2007 7:04 AM
 
Gerry,
(ooops,.. I got the wrong "Jerry/Gerry" in the previous post! )
Well, your hubby has a point about all the stuff,... but,.. I don't think "stuff" can compare to looking at the grand canyon or finding a little country store just like it was 50 years ago,... or meeting those nice folks at the next campsite,... or,....hearing the rain on the camper roof,.. well, you get my idea. Stuff just isn't where it's at for me. But I do understand that it is for him and that's ok too. We're all different in what creates our personal "comfort zone".
I have lots of stuff too,.. accumulated over 65 years of life, but I'd give 85% of it up to be able to go wandering. I just plain don't have the income as a divorced woman to be able to do that.
Good luck,.. and if you ever get to the far northern part of NY let me know and we'll catch a cup or lunch together,.... yes, hubby too! hee hee.... ;) Cedar Adirondack Mts. in NY '02 Ford Escape '04 Chalet Arrowhead (C-->)
"One's world expands and contracts in direct proportion to one's courage"....Anais Nin.
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 6/18/2007 11:14 AM
 
Hi GerryMac, personal , I think men look at RV'ing diffently than we do, I think they feel it's alot of work and it is, but if you love it , it's not work ,just a labor of love. So I think you need to really talk this out with him so he 's not haboring bad feelings while your having the time of your life. Maybe the best thing is try it part-time until you both can figure out what would make you both happy. Life is to short to live it being unhappy. There is an answer, you both just have to work on it. Good Luck, Happiness is a Choice...........choose to be happy
bettyfromvero

Happiness is a Choice...........choose to be happy bettyfromvero
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 6/19/2007 1:18 AM
 
There are lots of ways of rving - and maybe you and your husband need to find one with compromises on both sides. What about finding a wonderful park where you could have either your winter or summer "home" - get either a park model or 5th wheel or TT, etc - that stays there - and have it be a park where hubby can have at least some of his things - and where he'll know that for a time each year he can come back to them. Then get an rv for the other part of the year when you travel.
Some of these parks you can buy your lot - Seeya has a lot they purchased in Arizona. And you don't have to have 2 "homes" - you can use the rv on the lot at the site you stay 1/2 the year - but also have a storage building there with some of the things hubby doesn't want to get rid of?
I understand your wanderlust - I have it, too. Good luck finding a solution that works for you. Smiling is contagious - try it!
Bethers

--------------------------- Once your reputation is ruined, you can live life quite freely :) (old German saying) Bethers
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 6/21/2007 11:34 PM
 
it's amazing how we get wrapped up in 'stuff'. You can't hope that hubby will 'come around'. If it isn't right for him then it just isn't right. He is worried about what you will have to show for your hard work without your 'stuff'? You can't take it with you, and what you will have to show is your memories of all the places you've been, people you've met, and the time you've spent together. Stuff wears out and gets broken but those memories last as long as you do. I don't know how old you both are but taking care of a house is no small chore for anyone, let alone as we get up there. If you rv'd for a number of years then decided you wanted to stay put you could rent an apartment. That would eliminate the upkeep of a house. There are MANY options and the two of you should look at every angle before making a decision......together. getting my ducks in a row

getting my ducks in a row
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