The past month has been a whirlwind of emotions. On October 30th my husband was admitted to home hospice care. Since that time he has been getting weaker by the day. I am not ready for him leave me, but since God is the only one who can decide when we leave this life it is a choice I have no control over.
We were able to have all of our children and 4 of our grandchildren here for Thanksgiving to give him that time with them. It was worth all the work and planning to hear him tell me thank you after everyone had left that night.
I spoke to the nurse today and although she can not tell me when I will lose him she did suggest that we not plan anything large for Christmas as she feels by then he will be to weak to enjoy any festivities if he is still with us. So we will make it a quiet day if we have the chance. For those who are not familiar with me DH has suffered with COPD for may years and at this point is using all his energy just to breath. Our goal right now is to keep him as comfortable as possible for the time he has left.
As the cover went on the camper this past weekend it was with sadness that he will probably not see it again. We did manage to make a trip over Columbus Day weekend to Lancaster PA which is our favorite place to camp although it was really hard for him he wanted so much to go for me. It was then that we realized that he was much worse than we wanted to admit to each other and we no sooner got home and his Dr recommended hospice care. It will always be our special place, one that we enjoyed many times together. Our dream of full time RVing can no longer be, but he has made me promise to go on with the dream even though he can not be there with me. So with Duncan as my copilot I have told him, God willing, I will see everything we wanted to see together.